Your dog follows you to the bathroom. Your cat sleeps on your chest. You begin to ask yourself: “Are they feeling anxious… or just obsessed with me?” Let’s break it down: 

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What Healthy Attachment Looks Like

Attachment is normal and healthy – it means your pet feels safe and secure with you. A well bonded pet may follow you around at times but can also relax when they’re away from you. They’ll greet you happily when you return home and but then also settle down without difficulty. They might choose to sleep near you (or on you), simply because they enjoy your presence. They should be able to eat, rest, and play even when you’re away and not feel stressed or anxious in your absence. A healthy attachment is when they love you, but their nervous system isn’t relying on you just to feel safe.

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When “Clingy” Might Be Anxiety

Pets experiencing anxiety may show panic or agitation as soon as you prepare to leave, engage in destructive behaviour when they’re alone, or display excessive vocalizing, drooling, or pacing. Some may refuse to eat when separated, or exhibit velcro-like behaviour sometimes paired with visible restlessness, as if they can’t fully relax. The key difference is that anxiety looks and feels uncomfortable for your pet.

I’ll be honest, my own dog would crawl into my skin if he could. He follows me from room to room. He waits outside the shower and whines. If I move, he follows. But here is the important nuance, he does settle once I am gone, he doesn’t become destructive and carries on with his life. This tells me this isn’t unhealthy attachment. But, he is stressed and anxious for a period after I leave. That’s not something to ignore, it’s a sign his nervous system struggles with separation initially, even if he can recover. And that’s a grey area that a lot of pets can live in. 

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Why This Happens (And It’s Not Your Fault)

Separation related anxiety can be influenced by:

• Genetics and temperament
• Early life experiences
• Big changes (new home, schedule changes, new baby in the home)
• Lack of learned independence

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What Actually Helps (Evidence Based)

• Predictable routines
• Teaching calm independence (short, positive separations)
• Environmental enrichment
• Avoid punishing anxiety behaviours
• In many cases: professional training or veterinary support

The goal isn’t less attachment, it’s secure attachment.

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So… Stage 5 Clinger or Securely Attached?

If your pet can relax without you, recovers quickly after you leave and isn’t distressed by being away from you then they’re likely just very bonded and lucky to have you. A close attachment is not the same thing as anxiety. However, if you’re noticing signs of true distress – persistent vocalizing, destructive behaviour, house soiling, pacing, or an inability to settle – I urge you to please discuss with your veterinarian. Separation anxiety is a medical and behavioural condition, and there are many supportive and effective options available. You don’t have to navigate it alone.